Archive for the ‘Louis’ Category

Dress Like the Future.

In this time of budget craziness and discussion of re-building the US infrastructure, I wanted to share a few ideas that I like.  Thin of this as a list of “we should be doing this already” ideas.  Colin Jones posted something today that inspired this crazy rant, so if I sound socialist, I blame him.  He’s corrupting my poor patriotic mind.  Don’t hold me responsible.
-Let’s start by creating a domestic energy production workforce.  This might raise employment and could potentially sustain a college educated work force.  For power sources we should us here, I have two thoughts , shale gas and nuclear.  We should do both, but only put the nuclear where you can’t get at shale easily.  The whole country shouldn’t be working on one thing (we would never agree anyway) all at once.  Also, the shale gas will run out, so that won’t work that well for too long.  We also shouldn’t pump the gas too far cause that is a wasteful infrastructure expenditure when you realize the shale gas is just gonna run out one day.  On the topic of nuclear, I suggest that we are still a highly educated country.  Why don’t we make nuclear plant jobs the new factory job, and sustain the people?  You would have to go to college to work at the nuclear power plant, right? Maybe this is how we justify our need for an incredibly long educational period for so many people.
The oil companies would never go for it…
-Let’s stop focusing on food agriculture in the US and start re-foresting for harvest.  Wood is a way better source of biofuel than food products.  It’s also actual sequestration when you build with it.  That carbon stays in the wood for a while.  It’s an under-utilized building material that adds a classy feel to anything.  We should do this for style points more than efficiency or environmental concerns.
Monsanto might go for it…
-Trains.  Trains just make way more sense.  Cars make sense to make by independent industry because they break a lot.  It makes no sense to fix them in the short term which helps companies sell a ton more of them.  Train systems exist for centuries, lower transportation costs for huge groups of people, and barely break even.  Systems like the T or the Metro in NYC would never make sense as a private business model because it would not make much money compared to an essentially consumable transportation system (like cars) would.  In addition, metro systems employ a shit ton of people locally while allowing for more efficient energy expenditure in getting the people of a region around from place to place.  We would also solve a secondary problem if people didn’t have to own as many cars.  It’s not just the credit cards that cause problems in this expansive Union…  Debt based vehicle purchase is endemic, and that debt makes no sense.  A car costs most people far more in car loan interest than they would be willing to recognize on their budget.  The myth of the american car is dead.  Start making trains, Detroit.
GM would lose their shit, and Ford would just get up, turn off the music, and kick everyone out.
-I like the idea of dressing like we are in the future too.  Why don’t we make clothes out of the vast wealth of recyclables that EVERY city, big or small, has access to, and do it locally?  I worry that the answer is that people would be afraid to dress like the future.  Maybe not in the post-gaga world?  Who knows.
The lawyers would never give up their hand sewn third world baby made cashmere sweaters…
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Tonight I watched a bunch of excellently made commercials…

And I turned it into a contest!  Woo.  Here are the rules.

  • For each commercial break we have a mini competition and pick whichever commercial was best.
  • At the end of the night, we select the best commercial.

Black Lady Pegs White Girl – Pepsi

This commercial has a funny race moment.  This commercial also managed to combine cute girls, violence, Pepsi, and racial humor in an appropriate manner. Also, the Doritos commercial made us feel a little weird.

Volcano Response – Chevy Silverado

This commercial shows cars how cars should be.  There is one problem.  When the man goes into the belly of a whale… Does the car help while parked on the dock?

Doritos saves the day – Doritos

Doritos dust saved a fish and an old dude, but most of all it saved the Roomate.

Cowboys versus Aliens

It should speak to the competitive nature of this specific commercial break that Scott said, “That looks kind of dumb.”

Eminem Clay-mation commercial?

Why did Eminem get his own commercial break?  Scott liked it.

Sleepy’s sex commercial

This commercial is suggestive.  Fortunately, most children won’t get it.  Weirdly, everyone looked like they could have been brother and sister.  Incest probably wasn’t what they meant.  Probably?

Hold me Closer – Budweiser

For a moment, I held my Bud closer, tiny dancer…

BMW escape – BMW

These cars are made for the nouveau riche of Thuh Unituh Statesuh ‘Merica.  Have I made it clear enough that they were selling those foreign cars to the south? Wait, those foreign cars were made in the south?!?!?!

Darth Volkswagen – Volkswagen

The Thor commercial might have been ok, but it will never beat Star Wars as a theme.  Children make every commercial good, but this one taps into the fact that we all want our kids to LOVE Darth Vader at some point.

Super 8

This preview got the dudes way interested.  It looks like it will combine things that parents are worried about and things that kids have always wanted to do.  Sandlot meets Alien?

Facebook Car – Chevy Cruze Eco

I hope we were all reminded that the most important part of dating is having a car that will make a girl kiss you.  Facebook helps too.

Android is ready to play – Sony Phones

This commercial sorta rips off the Wii?  Unfortunately they changed it a little bit so that the Android robot is medically altered in a painful way in order to play?  This one gets the Cinematography Award.

Worst Commercial Break

Why was there a Black Eyed Peas commercial before the Black Eyed Peas played?

Rupert Murdoch steals the Ipad from youth everywhere – The Daily

I hope we don’t lose our collective social perspective when the internet starts to look like Fox News.

Amusement Park Disaster – NASCAR

We all knew that NASCAR fans were psychopaths.  It seems, however, that NASCAR fans still don’t?

Beiber is a girl. – Verizon 4G

Even The Beib agrees.

Test Baby – Homeaway.com

A “test baby” literally sticks to and slides down a pane of protective glass.  Incredible.

Uniting Worlds – Coke

Nice war imagery.  I bet Coke actually sells more when there is a war on too, so it makes perfect sense.

Car Jacking – Carmax.com

“Oh, my delivery!”  I would probably freak out if gas station attendants still did full service like a pack of crazy people.

Imported From Detroit – Eminem

The capital of strippers, gambling and poverty; the makers of the Chrysler 200

NFL Episodes – NFL

How I met your mother matters as much as the Brady Bunch or Seinfeld.

Beaver saves the day – Bridgestone

Beaver is a G. One love.

Mercedes commercial that none of us could really remember.

Not even a good commercial, just the best one this time.  A lot of the commercials start getting shitty at some point here.

Best Commercial of the night: Black Lady Pegs White Girl

I think it should be pointed out that Pepsi had some awesome commercials tonight.  I’m honestly excited to try out Pepsi Max.

Extra big shout out tonight.  My brother made a super bowl commercial.  He is the coolest guy I have ever met, hands down.

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Three Reasons…

…that gun control is a stupid thing to bring up right now in congress.

1: This is a constitutional issue that is going to more deeply divide the nation at a time when we need to come together and think about our collective future.

2: There is no solution.  The Gun lobby is as strong as the Anti-Gun lobby.  Congress will worry about re-election money more than they will need their base votes for at least the coming year.

3: It is just political douche-baggery and the left is bringing it up in order to collect stupid comments by the right in advance of campaign time.  Why are we talking social issues when individuals as a group are losing wealth compared to the ultra-wealthy and corporations?  Should not a strong middle class be the focus of our popular government?  Are we really interested, as a nation, in an economic system where the buying power of the rich is growing compared to the buying power of the poor?  Is this a good idea considering that our system of elections is entirely reliant on money from special interests?  Do we want to build stronger special interest groups for the rich?  Do we want to fritter away our time on gun control while this goes on?

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Christmas 2k10

I like to think that every great moment in our lives has a lesson hiding somewhere within it.  I don’t think that moments in life have purposes, or actually even that people have purposes.  Call me a cynic.  However, we all have lessons available for learning at any given moment.  I believe that the more profound the moment, the more depth to the lesson.  This Christmas I learned that I am a straight up adult and that I should act like it a little more often.

I’ll try not to be too much of a buzz kill while I do it.

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Mitch McConnell…

Is trying to bring back the cold war.

Truth.

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Testes

“What’s the word for people who get stuff in a will?  Testees?” – Emily Fortin

*Table erupts in laughter*

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Tortious Tortuity

From Google…

tortious, adj:

1. (Law) Law having the nature of or involving a tort.

tortuous

1. full of twists, turns, or bends; twisting, winding, or crooked.

2. not direct or straightforward, as in procedure or speech;intricate; circuitous.

3. deceitfully indirect or morally crooked, as proceedings,methods, or policy.

RES IPSA LOQUITUR

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I Gotta Give It To The GOP

The conservative party is doing exactly what they say they will.

Check it

They are conserving things exactly how things are right now.

Shitty.

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People are Fuckin UP!

List of people who are really fucking up today.

1) Middle Eastern leaders who would like the US to intervene against the Iranian nuke program.  This morning I heard quotes suggesting that the US should bomb Tehran or alternately that the US should (again) create an Iranian civil war.  All the heads of state in the Middle East are like, “oh shit” right now.  Way to provoke an extremely antagonistic next door neighbor with nuclear weapons guys.

2) Cute girl on the T.  You could have been smiling.  You were too cute to look like you hated everyone.

That’s it so far, but it’s only 9am…

*UPDATE*

3) I AM FUCKIN UP BY NOT WORKING ON OUTLINES!

4) Sketchy Star was fuckin up earlier by not having cranberry juice.  I want Cran-juice, not Cran-cocktail.

5) Ross Meyers only fucks up at fuckin up.  THE MAN CANNOT FUCK UP!

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Frustrating News of The Day

This morning I woke up to an unexpected lack of a hangover, put on the webternets, and almost spit out my cranberry juice while reading a CNN article.  A blogger from a security blog who goes by the name “Mr. Smith” put up this awesome quote commenting on the risks of videotaping your security interactions at TSA checkpoints in an airport.

“Another important phone number to have with you is the TSA’s Office of Civil Rights at 571-227-1917. It all depends where you are and if the police or TSA agents know the law.”

Other security experts apparently agreed with Mr. Smith that the biggest problem with recording your interactions with the TSA – interactions which these days regularly test the strength of your privacy rights against their right to search your (genitals) stuff – is that these people might not understand the law in their own jurisdictions.  I think this is a sad state of affairs.

So after I (clean the cranberry juice off of myself) remind myself that this is only a potential problem, and that there may be a few law enforcement officers in the world who both know my rights and want to help protect them, I am left with a pretty general question.  Can anyone tell me why it is just completely alright for the TSA to video tape or grab my genitals after I pay for an airline ticket, but a hypothetical person paying someone to do the same outside of the air travel setting could be breaking laws against prostitution or pornography?

Can anyone tell me why small children are not free of this disgusting practice?

This just baffles me.  I am just ecstatic to be flying a lot this holiday season.  I hope that when the TSA asks to scan me, they enjoy my response.

“The TSA does not have permission to scan me.  I’m gonna have to request that you touch my balls, dude.”

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